Changes
by writergirl99
Summary: How did her life end up this way? From having no direction, not knowing what she wanted to do, or where she wanted to go. Garcia reflects on what she has in life...


**A/N: Well, it's been awhile since I wrote for Criminal Minds. What with Seven taking it on and off air and throwing on repeats then new episodes it got annoying and to the point where I stopped watching the show. But I've started watching it again - two days off school is good to catch up on CM.**

**My first time writing for Garcia/Morgan so I hope it is okay. Her background may be a little OOC - I don't know too much about her except about her parents and what happened after that. I made up her life before it, was it mentioned anywhere in the series?**

**Spoliers: There are major spoilers for 5x21 Exit Wounds, 3x09 Penelope and minor spoilers for 2x21 Open Season.**

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How did her life end up this way? From having no direction, not knowing what she wanted to do, or where she wanted to go, to having a wonderful job, and loving friends and family supporting her every step of the way.

All her life, she'd been a social outcast, the one that people would point and stare at. In high school, she felt so alone, she hadn't had many friends and those few years were hard for her. Sure, she had a couple of close friends, but they were the outcasts of the school, always getting teased by those who were more popular the cheerleaders and the jocks.

After her parents had died, she dropped of the grid and then surfaced awhile later, only to be offered a job at the FBI. Agreeing to join the FBI, she found the job tedious, and often at times, she hated the work she did; hated, the people she worked with, until that was, she joined the BAU.

She loved the team she worked with, and actually, for once enjoyed her work. She hated the death, the horror that she saw and experienced, what some people could do to others, it not what she enjoyed about the job. But she enjoyed making a difference in the world, stopping these sick bastards in her tracks.

Being shot, had given her a second chance, a new perspective on life, and had changed her in more ways than one, but feeling that man bleeding the death under her, knowing her was alive, being there as he slipped away, it had nearly destroyed her. It was almost as horrific, to her, as the night she was shot.

Sometimes, things just got too much for her and she had no choice but to walk away. Being out there, in Alaska, in the field was way too much for her, especially when she saw first hand someone die, right in front of her eyes. It's why she had to walk away from Morgan, from his questions.

She didn't know what she'd do without her team - without her girls, to hang out with, have a laugh and a few drinks after a bad day. She loved her girls and the good times they had, laughing when that man… Brad, claiming to be an FBI agent had hit on them, when they'd gone out and played darts, JJ impressing everyone with her talents, the night that they'd gone clubbing in town for her birthday… There were so many good times with her girls JJ and Emily. She loved them both.

She also loved little Henry dearly, whom she was fairy godmother for which meant it was her role to buy things for him and to shower in gifts despite JJ's protests. She remembered a time she'd shown up with probably fifteen bags, all things for Henry, except one small one which was for Kevin. JJ looked about ready to strangle her, but as godmother it was her role to buy thing for him, spoil him rotten.

She was thankful for Hotch and Rossi, who were the father figures in her life, giving guidance to her when she needed it, fighting for her like the time she got shot. When they found the encrypted files on her server; those two had fought for her, and given her a chance. She did not know what she would do without them.

She did not know what she would do without Kevin - she loved Kevin and would not give him up for anything in the world.

He was someone she'd always looked for in a partner. Granted, it took her getting shot for the two to meet, but like she said, these things always happened for a reason. Kevin was funny, smart… handsome. She loved him to death, he completed her.

But there was someone else she loved just as much, someone who completed her, and that was Derek Morgan. She'd always had what people would refer to as a flirtatious relationship with him, phone sex, if you will, calling each other nicknames like Angelfish, tiger, baby girl, but it was a way of staying in the light, away from the darkness that was their jobs. He would make her laugh, make her smile and it would make her forget of the horrors of her work.

He was a complete and utter gentleman to her – as she'd told Kevin; that time in Alaska when they'd bunked together after he refused to sleep with Reid, he'd slept on the floor. The same as in her apartment after she'd returned to the hospital. He was a perfect gentleman, never looking to take advantage of her.

It was so easy, with Derek to be herself, to laugh, to smile, despite what was going on around her. And she loved to talk to him. She could tell him anything, and knew he would actually listen to her. If she was crying, he could talk to her, be there for her, like when she was worried she was losing herself just so she could do the job, that she didn't know who was anymore.

"I kind of love you Derek Morgan."

She'd been able to say it once before, that she loved him; which she did… but now with Kevin, it felt strange to tell another man she loved him. She loved Derek Morgan, but it was more a brother/sister type relationship. It would never be anything more.

She didn't realise she was holding her breath, until he responded. "I kind of love you, Penelope Garcia."

Accepting his hug, she let him wash away the emotions from the day. As he'd told her, he would always be there to protect her, and she was thankful for that. She was thankful for everything in her life, for every one in her life.

What doesn't destroy you only makes you stronger. She'd learnt these lessons from Derek Morgan and the rest of her team, but also from two experiences in life. Being shot, and seeing a man die right besides you, your hand, on him as you try to stop the bleeding.

Her life was perfect, and while other may disagree with her, she loved it the way it was. She would not change it for the world.


End file.
